Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tuesday

Breakfast
Oatmeal
1 cup of coffee
1 bottle of water

Lunch
Spagettii
Salad
Tea

Monday, March 24, 2008

Monday

Breakfast
2 cups of coffee with ff cream
1 bowl of oatmeal
Water

Lunch
1/2 Wrap (Turkey Cheese and lite mayo)
5 small slices of cheese
1 WW yogurt
Tea

Snack
(4)Hershey's Stick 60 Cal
Pear Halves (100% Juice)

Dinner
Spaghetti's
Sm salad
Water

Friday, March 14, 2008

Back to the Gym

Yesterday I stopped by the Gym I used to go to and asked the question I need to get started. "How Much?" Patty and Jodell are awesome people and they want to see you succeed. When I walked in there it was like going to your parent and telling them you had been doing something bad, even though they all ready know and they just smile and say welcome back! My foot is not in the door yet. I am going to start back in one week. Next week I am heading back home it is Spring Break and I need to go see my dad he has been getting Kemo treatments for his cancer and all his hair started falling out yesterday so he shaved it all off today. I think it was cool that my one of my brothers shaved his head to. Anyway I will be out of town for a week and want to start off on a good start at Gym.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

This week has been eye opening.

In the past days I have watched what I have been eating and killing myself at the same time. I finally have concluded I really do have a problem with food. I have just exchanged one addiction for another. My Sick way of the thinking has put me over the edge and into a very destructive path. I remember just two days ago as I was eating something I really did not want, My body was saying "NOOOOOOO", crying and I just kept shoveling it in the mouth. I make excuses after excuses and I am so sick of myself and my life that it is Gods time to intervene. I can't do this on my own no more.

Yesterday was my birthday and I turned 36 and I swore to myself that I would never ever get fat EVER. As I looked in the mirror I seen cellulite on the back of my arms. A very dear friend of mine bought my two shirts and a cute dress all larges and I am still way to big for them. So I thought to myself this is it. I got on the scale last night (which I have not for some time) and I weighed in at 189!!! This is by far the biggest I have ever been.

I know that I am at my best when I am working out at a gym. I know this. I watch what I eat, I have a very good support group there. I have allowed my job, money, and the stress of it all to take control and just run me in the ground.

Last night I went online and looked for help. I went to Overeater's Anonymous. It was late at night so that there was no online meetings at the time but I am going to follow thru with this. This is not like alcohol and drugs where you just stop. You have to eat. I can't do this.

On a side note that does relate to this. I have noooooo money and I have no way to get back to the gym. So I think I am going to go ahead and talk to the owner of Southwest Fitness and see if I could create a startup web page for them in lieu of a one year membership. I just started working in dream weaver so this would be basic but hey its worth a try. So I am going to ask today.

I am ready to change! I just need God' Grace in this matter. "God Help!!!"